CHRIST REFORMED Fellowship

Christ Reformed Fellowship

Family-Integrated Worship

Children are not a distraction from worship; they participate. At CRF, families worship together, as God has always intended for His covenant people.

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The Foundational Charge

"And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

Deuteronomy 6:6–7

The Parental Mandate

God has called parents — not the church — to raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The responsibility for the Christian formation of children belongs first and foremost to the parents, primarily fathers. The church equips and supports, but cannot replace the father as the head.

Deuteronomy 6 charges fathers to teach the law of God to their children when they sit, walk, lie down, rise. Ephesians 6 commands fathers to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. These are commands given to parents.

Raising children as Christians is the explicit call of God placed on every believing household. The question is not whether our children will be discipled, but whether they will be discipled to Christ or the world.

Deuteronomy 6:4–7
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart... And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children."
Ephesians 6:4
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
Psalm 78:4–7
"We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done... so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God."
Isaiah 59:21
"And as for me, this is my covenant with them... My Spirit that is upon you, and my words that I have put in your mouth, shall not depart out of your mouth, or out of the mouth of your offspring, or out of the mouth of your children's offspring, from this time forth and forevermore."

Your children are holy. They belong to God.

The covenant is not a private transaction between God and isolated individuals. It runs through families. Scripture is explicit: the children of believing parents stand in a relation to the covenant community that is qualitatively different from the children of the world. This shapes how we treat them in worship.

1 Corinthians 7:14
The children are holy
Paul argues that the unbelieving spouse is sanctified through the believing one, and grounds this in the status of the children: "Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." The children of the covenant are set apart. They are not to be treated as if they stand outside the household of God.
"For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."
Isaiah 59:21
The covenant passes to the offspring
God's covenant promise is not for one generation, but for the offspring, and the offspring of the offspring. The expectation built into the covenant itself is continuity. Faithful parents do not merely hope their children will come to faith; they raise them in the faith, under the Word, within the covenant community, expecting God to honor His promise.
"As for Me, this is My covenant with them,” says the LORD: “My Spirit which is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your seed, nor from the mouth of your seed’s seed,” says the LORD, “from now and forever.”
Ezekiel 16:20–21
The children belong to God
God rebukes Israel for sacrificing their children to idols, saying "you took my sons and daughters... and slaughtered them." The possessive is striking: they are God's sons and daughters. Covenant children are not our children; they are the Lord's. We are stewards, not owners. That stewardship carries the weight of eternity.
"You took my sons and my daughters, whom you had borne to me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured."
Matthew 19:13–14
Jesus wants the children brought to Him
When the disciples rebuked those bringing children to Jesus, He corrected them: "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." The disciples thought children were a distraction from the serious work of the ministry. Jesus said they belonged at the center of it. Children come to the Lord today through participating in worship.
"Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."
Acts 2:38–39
The promise is to you and your children
On the day of Pentecost, Peter preaches repentance and baptism, and then declares: "For the promise is for you and for your children." The covenant is designed to pass down through households. The children of the church are not to be relegated outside of God's gathering, but to be brought inside, and to learn what it means to worship God.
"For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself."
Joel 2:15–16
Assemble the children at the solemn assembly
When God calls His people to gather for solemn assembly, He explicitly includes even the nursing infants: "assemble the elders, gather the children, even nursing infants." The inclusion of young children in the gathered assembly is the ancient, consistent pattern of God's people at worship.
"Gather the people, consecrate the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, even nursing infants."

The Assembly of the Living God

When we gather, we ascend to Mount Zion together.

Hebrews 12 describes the Lord's Day assembly in extraordinary terms: we have not come to Mount Sinai, but to Mount Zion, to the city of the living God, to the heavenly Jerusalem, to innumerable angels in festal gathering, to the assembly of the firstborn enrolled in heaven.

This is what we are doing when we gather on the Lord's Day. We are not satiating our felt needs; we are ascending to the throne of God. The presence of God is peculiarly in the assembly.

To remove the children from that assembly is to deprive them of the special presence of God among His covenant people. They become deprived from the hearing of the Word, the sight of the Table, the song of the saints. Scripture does not restrict worship to adults.

Separating children from the service week after week is, however unintentionally, to make them spiritual orphans and to fail to follow the commands of Christ.

Hebrews 12:22–24

"But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant."

Hebrews 12:22–24

When children are removed, they are absent from the assembly of the living God, not by their choice, but ours. Not a small thing.

The Duty of Discipline

Disciplined children are a gift to the congregation.

God's call to bring children into the assembly comes with a corresponding call to form them. A covenant child who is trained, disciplined, and taught to sit under the Word is shaped for the worship of the living God.

Scripture is not romantic about the nature of children. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, and the rod of discipline drives it away; such is our factory setting. Discipline is an act of love. The parent who will not discipline hates their child, says Proverbs. The parent who disciplines faithfully gives their child one of the greatest gifts possible.

We do not expect children to be statues. We expect children to be children. They are growing and being formed. That formation requires the faithful, consistent, loving work of discipline at home and in the assembly alike.

What Proverbs says about discipline:

Prov 13:24 "Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him."
Prov 22:15 "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him."
Prov 29:15 "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."
Prov 29:17 "Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart."
Prov 23:13–14 "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol."
Heb 12:11 "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

What to Expect at CRF

Our expectations for children in worship.

These expectations exist not to burden parents but to help them disciple their children well, and to protect the reverence of the assembly for the whole congregation.

Children sit with their families
Children are expected to sit with their parents, not walk around or be crawling on the floor. This minimizes distractions for others, and is a worthy goal for the attainment of self control.
Quiet and as attentive as possible.
We expect children to be quiet during the service. We understand this is a work in progress, especially for the youngest. We are patient with the normal sounds of young children. What we are working toward, and what we ask parents to work toward, is children who are genuinely learning to sit under the Word, listen and pay attention to the sermon, and participate in corporate worship.
Discipline in and out of the service
Parents are encouraged to discipline their children as needed — both in the service and by stepping out briefly when necessary. A word of correction, a look, a gentle hand, all appropriate in the service. If a child needs more significant correction, stepping out briefly and returning is entirely appropriate. Do not be embarrassed — we are cheering for you.
Nursing Room is available.
We offer a nursing room for mothers and their infants, a private place where the preaching can still be heard. We do not offer any nursery services. Parents should plan to keep their infants with them. If you need help managing all your kiddos, ask and we will be happy to give backup if needed.
Questions? Talk to an elder. We know this is not the norm in most churches, and that many families are navigating this for the first time. Our elders are glad to walk with you. If you have questions about how to train your children for worship, how to handle a particularly difficult season, or just want to talk through what this looks like practically, don't be afraid to reach out.

Recommended reading for parents: see our Resources page for books and articles on family-integrated worship and covenant parenting.

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